I’m nearly finished with my third novel, but I have hesitated. Just a chapter to go. But…what happens when I finish? Now I’m at the stage of anything is possible. I could get an agent and a New York publisher. I could get chosen on Kindle Scout to be read by Amazon and then published by them. And I could make significant sales that validate my craft.
Or… nothing. Self-publish, push and pull marketing, push awareness, strive, strive, strive to edge out from the dregs, the multitudes of unknown books. Get badges that acknowledge my skills, enter contests that take my money. Find outlets to advertise. Find a review tour. It’s all so tiring.
I hoped and dreamed of success for all my completed work. Walking with Elephantsfound a small publisher after many, many years but she went of business. So I took over and self-published. It came in the top-five in a contest. Earned a badge for writing excellence. Now and then, here and there, I make a sale. Sunspots, my second work, was taken from events in my own life. My heart break. Written with real feelings and attention to just the right word. A poetic use of language. I thought it was my masterpiece. No contest placements, but two badges connoting excellence in writing. Sales are mostly nonexistent. Really good reviews though. But it’s tough. Am I really a writer if nobody reads my work? If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it really make a sound?
Despite all this uphill struggle, this bridge to nowhere that I walk, I write. I write because it just comes easy to do it. And I love it. I think I’m really good. All successful people say, it can happen to you if you just do it. Put yourself out there. Well, that’s a gentle lie. Talented people are overlooked all the time. Talented people change course because they must eat. At least I’m lucky enough that food and shelter are provided for me. And I can satisfy my ego somewhat. Books, with me as the author, are proudly displayed in my home.
My latest work? Who knows what will happen? And the one after that? And after that? Well, ya never know.
